Leading with Integrity 

Romans 2:1–16

Everywhere you look today, people are desperate for strong leaders—

• at work, 
• in the community, 
• in our country. 

But perhaps nowhere is godly leadership more needed—or more tested—than in the home. 

• Our children aren’t looking for perfect fathers. They’re looking for real ones. 
• They’re watching not just what we say, but how we live when no one else is watching.

The apostle Paul, in Romans 2, offers a sobering message—not just for his first-century readers, but for us today. 

• It’s a call to integrity. 
• A warning against hypocrisy. 
• A reminder that spiritual leadership doesn’t begin with loud opinions or outward appearances—it begins in the heart.

This morning, we’re going to walk through Romans 2 and listen in on Paul’s challenge—not to those outside the faith—but to those who should know better. 

And for us as fathers, husbands, mentors, and men of influence, the question is this: Are we leading from a place of humility or from pride? Are we passing down religious talk or real faith?

Godly fatherhood isn’t about control—it’s about character. And character is built, not in the spotlight, but in the shadows. 

In today’s passage, we’ll see three vital truths for any man who wants to lead his family well and leave a legacy that honors God.

Romans 2:1–4

Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. ² We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. ³ Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? ⁴ Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

I. Owning the Truth

“You therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself…” (v.1)

It’s easy to spot sin in others and ignore it in ourselves. But Paul warns that self-righteousness is just as dangerous as obvious rebellion.

As men, especially as fathers, we often want to fix—

• we want to correct what’s wrong. 
• But correction without reflection breeds hypocrisy. 

The most powerful example a father can give is not flawless authority, but honest humility.

Imagine walking around your house with a magnifying glass in one hand and a blindfold on your eyes. That’s how Paul describes judgmentalism—obsessed with seeing the faults of others while ignoring our own hearts.

Matthew 7:1-5

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We should ask ourselves questions like: 

• Do my kids see me as a man who owns his mistakes?
• Do I lead with repentance or defensiveness?
• Am I quick to correct than I am to confess?

Hypocrisy in correction; judging others for what we also do 

You ever see a dad try to correct his kids… by doing the exact thing he’s yelling at them for?

Picture this: The house is chaos—kids fighting, toys flying, someone’s crying over Goldfish crackers. Then Dad storms in, veins popping, and yells, “I SAID CALM DOWN!!”

The irony is thick—trying to bring peace with a nuclear blast. And every parent in the room has probably been that guy at least once.

That’s exactly what Paul is talking about in Romans 2. We yell at the world to behave while excusing our own meltdowns. We want justice for others, mercy for ourselves.

But God calls us to something better—to lead with the same patience and repentance we hope our kids will learn from us. So next time you’re yelling for someone to calm down… maybe check your own volume first.

“A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose life reveals the way.”

Romans 2:5–11

But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. ⁶ God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” ⁷ To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. ⁸ But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.⁹ There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; ¹⁰ but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. ¹¹ For God does not show favoritism.

II. Two Roads, One Judge

Contrasts the outcomes of the self-seeking vs. the faithful.

“God ‘will repay each person according to what they have done’… There is no favoritism with God.” (vv.6,11)

God doesn’t grade on a curve. Titles don’t impress Him—what matters is consistent, faithful obedience.

Discipleship is not a one-time event—it’s a daily calling. 

• It’s not about achieving perfection but about choosing consistency. 
• The quiet, unnoticed sacrifices—showing up, staying calm, putting others first—matter deeply to God.

Think of a man who works a tough job, comes home tired, but still plays catch with his son or reads a story to his daughter. Nobody claps. It’s not Instagram-worthy. But in heaven’s eyes, that’s greatness.

George Washington Carver once said, “When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.”

Carver was born into slavery, yet became one of the most respected scientists and inventors of his generation—

• not because he had access to wealth or privilege, but because he was faithful in the small things. 
• He famously studied peanuts, sweet potatoes, and other everyday crops. Not very glamorous, right? 
• And yet, through those “common things,” he developed over 300 products from peanuts alone—everything from paint to glue to cooking oil.

Carver didn’t chase fame. He chased purpose. 

• And because he approached the ordinary with excellence, humility, and creativity, God used him in extraordinary ways.

We often think we need to do big things to make an impact—start a movement, write a book, build something monumental. 

• But most of life is made up of small moments, everyday responsibilities, and ordinary conversations. 
• When we show up in those moments with faithfulness—when we work hard at our job, love our neighbor, or raise our kids with patience and grace—we are doing what Carver described: living out the common in an uncommon way.

That’s how the kingdom of God advances—not always through headlines or platforms, but through the quiet faithfulness of God’s people doing ordinary things with extraordinary love.

Romans 2:12–16

For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. ¹³ For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified. ¹⁴ For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. ¹⁵ They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them ¹⁶ on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus.

III. Character Is Built Quietly

Lots of guys have gym memberships they’ve never used. Some of us are platinum members at Planet Fitness, and the only thing we lift is the pizza slice they hand out on Monday nights.

We mean well—we bought the shoes, downloaded the app, even watched a few workout reels on YouTube. But let’s be honest: watching people exercise isn’t the same as exercising.

Romans 2:13 says, “It is not those who hear the law who are righteous… but those who do what the law says.”

Some of us have spiritually signed up for the gym—we come to church, we know the verses, we’ve got the gear—but we’re not actually doing the work. And our spiritual lives start to show the same symptoms as our “dad bods.”

God isn’t looking for religious subscriptions—He wants daily participation. 

Time to dust off the weights—both physically and spiritually.

A. Everyone Is Accountable to God (v. 12)

• “All who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law…”
• Whether someone has heard God’s written Law or not, sin brings consequences.
• Ignorance of the law does not equal innocence before God.
• Gentiles (without the Law) and Jews (under the Law) are both accountable.

Like someone breaking a speed limit they never saw—it may feel unfair, but the standard still applies. There are consequences whether you know or not.

B. God Values Obedience, Not Just Hearing (v. 13)

• “Not the hearers… but the doers… will be justified.”
• Religious exposure (hearing sermons, reading Scripture) is not enough.
• Obedience reveals the heart’s posture toward God.

This verse cuts through religious formalism—being in church every week doesn’t justify you; following Christ in real life matters.

We may fool people—but we can’t fool God. 

• What we are in secret is who we truly are. 
• God looks at the inner life—the motives, the secret thoughts, the hidden decisions.

Character is who you are when

• your wife isn’t watching, 
• when your kids are asleep, 
• when no one will ever know. 

Godly fathers don’t just parent publicly—they walk with God privately.

Think of a man building a house. The framing and finishes are visible, but the foundation is hidden. If the foundation is cracked, it doesn’t matter how good the siding looks. The house will collapse. Fathers build foundations with their unseen choices.

:

We live in an age of curated profiles and filtered lives. 

• But God doesn’t scroll through our highlight reel—
• He sees the raw footage. 
• He judges with perfect love and absolute truth.

In the early 1900s, a hotel clerk in Pennsylvania passed away. When his family went through his things, they found a small notebook labeled “Unseen Acts.” Inside were pages of handwritten notes:

1. “Gave my lunch to a stranger.”
2. “Prayed for the angry man in Room 204.”
3. “Returned an overpayment to the bakery.”

He’d never spoken of it, never posted about it, never even told his family. But he kept a hidden record—not to brag, but to remind himself that who he was in private mattered just as much, if not more, than what people saw.

Romans 2:16 says that one day, God will “judge the secrets of men by Christ Jesus.”

Fathers, our secret choices matter. 

• The prayers no one hears. 
• The temptations resisted when no one’s watching. 
• The gentle word instead of the angry outburst. 

That hidden life is the foundation of your visible influence.

God sees the “unseen acts.” And the kind of man you are in secret is the kind of father your children will remember.

Conclusion:

In Short, we are called to Fatherhood That Reflects the Father

Romans 2 doesn’t end in despair—it ends with a mirror. 

• It asks us not just to judge the world, but to examine ourselves. 
• As fathers and leaders, we’re not called to be flawless—we’re called to be faithful. 
• To lead not with a pointed finger, but with a repentant heart. 
• To walk humbly, to model obedience, and to live in step with the truth we claim to believe.

If you’ve blown it in some areas—join the club. 

• That’s why Paul reminds us in Romans 2:4 that it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. 
• He’s not done with you. 
• And He’s not looking for perfect dads—He’s looking for honest ones.

Maybe today is a moment of reset—a moment to recommit to building not just a public reputation but a private life that honors Jesus. Because when our hearts are surrendered to Him, everything else begins to align.

Let’s become the kind of fathers who reflect our Father—who leads with 

• truth, 
• grace, 
• consistency, 
• and love. 

Because long after our words fade, our children will remember who we were in the ordinary moments. 

And if we do the common things in an uncommon way—God will use even our quiet faithfulness to shape lives for eternity.